Dream

It was a weird one. Just a range of emotions. I had a dream that I was in Pullman, back for my second year and she was there. I'll have to admit the dream has already become a little fuzzy even though I just had it last night. But the main jist of it was that she dated a guy during the summer only to discover that that guy wasn't me and she wanted to go out with me. You think that'd be a happy dream but the whole dating another guy was what got to me. Because this is the girl who in reality said she tried not to do stuff like that alone with guys when I asked if she wanted to grab a bite to eat.

I guess that really struck me because I've heard something like that before. Back in high school I asked a girl out and she said she wasn't looking too date anyone at that time and a short while after she started going out with another guy. So forgive me if I'm a little weary when she said what she said leaving me to wonder if that was a rejection or if she truly holds that position of not wanting to be alone with guys. She seems wholesome.

I don't remember anything in my dream after the part where she said she wanted to be with me. I have this terrible condition where even in my dreams I never get lucky. Seriously, dream and reality is not that different for me when it comes to social shit. Never had sex in real life, never had sex in a dream. Never even had a wet dream. Makes me sort of think I'm physically incapable of having sex. Never had a dream where I kissed a girl, in reality I've only kissed one girl and it was so long so I think over time I've exaggerated that lengthiness of the kiss to make myself feel better when in actuality, it may have lasted thirty seconds. The girl was drunk, I was drunk, and that furthermore confirms my belief that I can't get a girl without a little help from alcohol.

But if that's what it takes, than that's what it takes.