I Hear Nothing

Not sure when I made the transition to play basketball without a hearing aid but I think it hinders me socially when I do it. And yet, I kinda have to. I can't risk it breaking. When I was younger, the headband would fly off when I got knocked around but it never broke, at least, it never broke in the sense that it stopped giving me the ability to hear. And I gues at some point I just became more cautious.

So now when I play, I hear nothing. Well, only if I'm playing full court which causes me to run a lot more than a 2 on 2 or even a game of 21 would ask of me. Hearing nothing blows. I guess I can hear some stuff, but most goes by without me catching a whiff of it. I can't crack jokes with guys, people try and tell me stuff and I just nod along so I don't look stupid. But then I do look stupid when I do what I think they said and in reality they said something entirely different.

So a lot of times I keep my mouth shut, or my inner coach comes out and I tell others what to do. In my head, I'm a great coach. I know where people should be at all times. I'm obviously not but I think I am. And I think that makes me look like a jackass. It's hard for me not to say something. If someone puts a screen on me and it's not called out, am I in the wrong at telling my teammate that he needs to call them out, in a calm but stern manner? But I'm also afraid to say some stuff because what if a person I'm talking to or "accusing" of not being in the right position says something back and I don't hear them. Then it looks like I'm giving them the cold shoulder and I really do look like a dumb fuck.

Bah!